Dayna and George Wilde, of Logan, always wanted a big family, but only had one biological daughter, who is now grown and married.
“I came from a family of seven kids, and Dayna came from a family of six,” George said. “So we just always thought we would have a big family, but it just never happened.” That’s when the couple decided to take another route and adopt.
Dayna and George’s family now includes Seth, 16, and Stewart, 11. But before adopting their sons, the couple had begun the process of adopting 21-month-old twins from Pennsylvania. However, not everything went as planned.
It took about six months to finalize the adoption in Pennsylvania, where the birth parents could revoke their consent during that period, Dayna explained. “Five months into the adoption, the birth mother changed her mind, so we lost the twins,” she said. Experiences like these are why some people may be hesitant about adoption. The Wilde’s can relate to these feelings.
“With our failed adoption, we were very scared about the birth mother and the power she had,” Dayna said. “In that situation, she still had power to come back and get those children.”
She said people may be afraid of the association between the birth mother and child. “It’s very common to be leery of what [the mother’s] motives are, but once [she] sign[s] those papers, [she] has good intentions, and it’s really nice to be able to have those relationships.”
In fact, Dayna and George consider it is positive (for everyone involved) to build good, strong relationships with the birth mother.
“More and more adoptive families are developing relationships with their birth mothers and involving them in their lives and building lasting, loving relationships,” Dayna said.
Since adopting their sons, the couple has tried to develop these types of relations with both of their sons’ birth mothers. For example, they have shared pictures and letters with Seth’s birth mother and have also sent items to Stewart’s mother.
At this time, Seth has not expressed interest in his birth mother, while Stewart has. “With Seth, we have a lot of information and correspondence back and forth with his birth mother, and have hardly any for Stewart,” Dayna said. “Stewart is the one who is very interested, but has very little to look at.” Although Seth shows no interest right now, Dayna and George believe a day may come where he would like to know more about his birth mother.
If and when that day arrives, the couple is glad they have records for Seth. Moreover, George said Seth can file through the Bureau of Vital Statistics to meet his birth mother once he turns 18. “[The Bureau of Vital Statistics] makes it possible for you to meet your birth parent if both parties agree,” George said.
Currently, the couple doesn’t correspond with either birth mother. Yet, they would like to meet them again one day. “I would love to meet either of those birth mothers again because we have a great love for them,” Dayna said. “We are so grateful to them for their sacrifice in helping our family to grow.”